The Movies

A few weekends ago we took the boys out to their first movie at a movie theater. It was a sensory friendly showing of Monsters University, meaning they turned up the lights a little and turned down the sound. Kids who needed to move around were allowed to do that, parents trailing after them. Nobody got upset when a kid cried or yelled out, when E-man got antsy towards the end and groaned rather loudly, other parents just smiled. 
There was a group there together with several autistic kids, the coordinator of the group helping the other parents and talking with the staff at the theater. She passed a Mom who was following her son on the stairs, the Mom apologized that her son was in the way. The coordinator told her, 
"There are no sorries here".
I overheard this and smiled. 
Another Mom was walking around with her son who looked to be around 5 years old. He scooted into our aisle in front of me, I greeted him and he looked back with a little glimmer in his eye. His Mom and I started to chat. She confided he was nonverbal and his comprehension wasn't that great, to which I replied,
"I know how you feel".
"Thank you", she said, turning to catch her son.
The boys had so much fun, they wiggled around a little and ate a ton of snacks. It was such a thrill to watch their little faces light up with excitement.
You know what I felt in that theater?
Love.
I felt the love of all those parents and grandparents and friends who were there to have their child experience something many of us take for granted. A simple morning at the movies. 
I felt the tools we use everyday to help guide and mold the boys come to fruition. My pride for E-man and Little Buddy swelled so much I felt I might burst. 
It seemed fitting that the movie we picked (spoiler alert!) was about a character that everyone underestimated, but ultimately went a different path and was successful.
It made me so happy to be there, I welled up a couple times.
Here was a place for my boys to be exactly who they are, no explanation, no stares, no pity. Just acceptance. A year ago this kind of family outing was just a dream, something we would get to eventually. And here was the day, we made it. And it felt good.
I think about all the dreams I have for my boys, things far off in the future. Will they get there? Will they have the same dreams? 
I wanted to clarify my last blog entry. In that post I oversimplified how to be happy.  I don't suffer from chronic depression, so saying being happy is as easy as deciding to be sounds naive. I realize its not that easy, there are days I'm so overwhelmed I don't feel like looking for happiness. But I try my best most days, looking for bright things to at least dull the worry of being a special needs parent. 
That day at the movies gave me hope. 
Hope that when the boys decide what it is they want to do in life they will work hard and achieve it. I also hope they know Martin and I will do anything for them, support, guide, push, love, dream for them. These boys are my heart, I didn't think it could get bigger. What I'm learning is that as they grow and change my heart does too, right along with them.