As time flies

The month of February has been a little kinder to us than January. I realized the other day that's its been a year now that Little Buddy was diagnosed with autism.

What a year it's been! 

LB has made so many gains with over a year of therapy under his belt. 

The beginning was rough for him and the focus was on him tolerating being with someone other than me for a short period of time. 

It was baby steps at the beginning, it started with just an hour (with me in the room). I slowly faded out and the length of time increased. 

From there they worked on play and social skills and back and forth games. As the hours increase his therapy has become more complex.

Currently he is receiving five hours a day of in home therapy. The afternoon hours were just added a couple weeks ago so that has been an adjustment.

When I think back to a year ago, his progress is amazing. Eye contact has improved, answering to his name, pointing at desired objects with consistency, acknowledging other people a bit more (although he's not too friendly yet) and the most exciting of all is that he is starting to talk! 

Of course his most often used word is "no", he also says "go", "side" (for outside), "Mama", "baby" and "mo" (for more). His verbal imitation is picking up too. 

The language is starting to click for him. With that said, he does get very frustrated when he can't communicate what he wants. 

The other night I had a friend over and he was crying and yelling, obviously upset about something.

I tried every trick, his favorite snacks, a drink, games, books and just holding him. None of it worked. 

As I was trying not to have a breakdown myself my friend pointed out that even though it's hard for him it's probably a good thing that he's understanding that he needs to communicate his needs to me.

It sounds strange but it's true.

When we were very first meeting with the clinical staff of the school we were warned that at some point tantrums might start happening. This is because the kids have made the connection that information has to be communicated to a person but they can lack the language to convey the message. As language picks up the tantrums usually improve. 

So even though I was about ready to rip my own hair out I could see why the meltdown was really a stepping stone towards better communication. 

Thinking about the last year and how quickly it has gone by makes me want to slow things down. I get so caught up thinking about the future, I often forget to appreciate things now. The bigger LB gets the more it hits me that I won't have another two and half year old running around the house again  (on a side note, I told Martin I had a dream that we had a third baby. His response "Ok, ok I'll go get the snippety snip").

So I'm trying to appreciate them because it goes so fast. 

Parents of older kids have told me to enjoy it. When you think about it people are only children for a very small period of time, being mindful and present in their growth  can be a challenge. 

To that end I do want to document their quirks with pictures and descriptions in some kind of album.

I never kept up with their baby books. In all honestly when I couldn't fill out the "milestones" sections with certainty that went out the window. 

For a time I didn't put a lot of thought into it. Lately it feels like I need to record what they are like. LB likes to nuzzle my face with his face. Resting his cheek against my cheek, or pushing his forehead to mine, giggling, sometimes giving me kisses too. He's done this since he was very little. I know one day he won't be so affectionate and I don't want to forget these sweet moments. E-man is very interested in helping in the kitchen, a fact I want to have photographic evidence of for when he's older. After all, these small moments make up our lives. It is becoming apparent to me that there is no way I can remember it all. The best I can do is to take pictures and make notes to pore over when the boys are big and smelly.