Safety Dance

My husband and I are going on a vacation to Las Vegas soon (it's ok to be jealous) and I have been preparing and planning as usual for this trip. Both boys are going to be watched by my mother in law and sister in law plus a teenage niece. So part of my planning involves writing out our typical routine for bed time, nap, meals, just the usual stuff that goes on around here. In my instructions I wrote about "safety". Now these are two women who have raised 6 children between them so I know they can keep a kid alive and well fed. The difference here is keeping a child with autism safe. Kids with autism frequently walk (or run) away from their caregivers, typically to go inspect something they find interesting or just to run like a bat out of hell, because why not? Another layer to this problem is that if they get lost, they typically don't answer to their name and have a difficult time communicating (even more so when non-verbal) that they need help. 
Let me give you an example. Martin and I decided to take E-man and Little Buddy on a walk. We packed them in the stroller, put the dog on a leash and we were on our merry way. 
We came up behind a park by our house, both Martin and I were distracted by the dog because he managed to tangle himself up around the stroller. Meanwhile E-man vaulted himself out of the stroller and ran right into the street, in no less than 8 seconds. While we were distracted with the dog, he saw the park and not knowing that there was a curve in the sidewalk to get there he just went the most direct route he could see and went for it. Martin dropped the dog's leash and ran after E-man and caught him and thankfully there weren't any cars coming. You know that feeling when you've narrowly avoided getting in a huge car accident but the adrenaline is still pumping, your heart and chest actually hurt and all your muscles are tense? Yeah, that's how it felt when that happened. 
So if two of us are with him, are extremely aware and vigilant about keeping this boy safe, and things like this still happen, you can imagine that leaving them with other people is stressful. 
My "safety" section ended up being an entire page of information. I wrote about what to do if they take them to various places and what we do around the house like locking all doors (yeah we aren't trying to creep you out when you visit and we lock the door after you walk in), blocking the side of the house that has a gate to the outside, etc. 
While I was writing all this out I realized how much of my time and energy I take to think about protecting E-man and how this gives me great practice because I'll be doing the same things for LB. 
I've been accused of being paranoid for various things in my life, usually when it involves germs (can't help it I'm a nurse). However I've also been described that way when I started thinking something was amiss in E-man's development. When it turned out my suspicions were true I decided I need to trust myself on how to raise my kids. It can be hard to convey the anxiety and preparation it requires to take the kids anywhere, especially by myself because of the flight risk E-man can be. So what can you do to help if you are hanging with a family who has a kid with autism? If you are making plans it is always easier for us to hang out at our house and we can enjoy your company much better, and we are very grateful for accommodating us. If we are out at a social gathering, offering to run around with (basically follow) E-man, it can be a nice break. Friends and family have been really supportive and we've had many successful gatherings. 
It may take a little more work, but I'm determined to keep doing things I enjoy. So I have to let go a little and trust the people around me to take the reins when a break is needed.  It's definitely a work in progress but you know what? I'm still packing my bags for Vegas!