The Unknown

Little Buddy and I are nearing our last appointment with the Infant Start study at the MIND Institute. This is the study that does parent training for children at risk for autism. I feel like it was a positive experience for both of us and has helped LB increase his ability to use body language and verbal skills to communicate. When we first started I was hoping it would be some kind of magic bullet that would prevent him from developing full blown autism. That was probably naive of me, but honestly I was desperate. In hind sight I think it probably helped him not regress further, which by itself makes doing the study worth it. I am relieved to be done, driving a total of 2 hours and 40 minutes for a 1 hour appointment every Tuesday was beginning to take a toll. The timing of everything is actually working out well, he got his official diagnosis a few weeks ago, thus making him eligible for more therapy hours at home. The extra hours will start pretty much right after we are done with the Infant Start study. 
Having done this process once before with E-man makes this time around a little easier. We were completely expecting the diagnosis and were able to bounce back much faster than the first time. 
The most difficult challenge is the unknown. I suspect it's the same for all parents. Will they be happy? Will they be successful? Will they eventually be ok with out us? 
Right now there is an added layer of stress because of layoffs coming at my husband's job and uncertainty with my schedule for work due to some staff changes that were very unexpected. I know we will be fine, it's the not knowing that kills me. In any situation, the anticipation of a problem or change is excruciating for me. I've always been a planner, have had back up plans for potential problems that may arise in any given situation. 
I think this time in my life is really testing my ability to cope with the unforeseen. It's definitely most stressful regarding the kids. 
Will they be able to have conversations, make friends, poop in the dang toilet?! It's overwhelming at times and I get tired. I am hoping over time my ability to cope with the unknown grows. Until then, I'll be taking it day by day, week by week.