Couple of things to discuss today. We had E-man's very first IEP yesterday and it went really well. It was decided by the team that he would most benefit from continuing therapy with the school we have already been working with. This was our biggest concern going in, so it was super cool that it worked out for us. It was also decided that today would be his first day at school, which was a little sooner than I thought but it is a good thing because E-man was starting to get restless and bored without the structure of school.
That brings us to this morning, a whole lot of firsts for us and E-man, packing his lunch and getting his backpack ready to take with him, taking pictures of him being cute. Then there was the dreaded drop off. To my surprise he handled it pretty well, he looked a little confused when we got there but we brought him in to the play room where the kids start their day and he literally dove into one of those fabric tunnel toys and never looked back! Needless to say it was harder on us than him, at least for today. We'll see how tomorrow goes! It's bittersweet to see him go, growing up and branching out. I will miss him so much. In the end it's all for the future and building his potential to the fullest, so I must keep that in mind while I mope around the house this first week.
In other news, we had Little Buddy's second assesment, which he was much less grumpy about but still displayed some red flags of autism. From there we decided to go ahead and sign him up for the 12 week early intervention, in hopes it will either stop or greatly slow down his regression. This is also bittersweet, being that we are grateful this opportunity exists for us but the fact that it is necessary is daunting. Leaving that appointment I was much more hopeful because I didn't expect going in that miraculously he would be fine, but that we need to address his needs head on. The interventions for him will begin next week. There are many new beginnings around here, with E-man's school, Little Buddy's classes and my new open schedule. Hopefully there will be many exciting results and gains from all these things, either way I am looking forward to the future.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Friday, September 23, 2011
Trying to stay positive
Today is kind of a big deal. As I've mentioned my oldest son E-man has autism. This wasn't an easy road for us to begin but in the last year we have become quite positive and in a place of acceptance.
Then we got a big punch in the gut. My youngest, Little buddy is starting to show some autism signs as well. We started to notice little things here and there when he was 14 months old, but tried to explain it away or focus on the things he was doing well. So we were plugging away in our denial when I took him for his 15 month check up as part of an infant sibling study we are part of at the M.I.N.D. Institute at UC Davis when the punch came through. They noticed what we had been trying to deny. Not answering to his name, fixating on objects and not giving a whole lot of eye contact. They were helpful and referred us to a different study for early interventions. I took the information and tried to hold in the tears until I could make it to the car. I barely made it out of the building before I lost it.
This isn't supposed to happen, why us, what are we going to do, what will happen when we die? All of these things and more start welling up and I do my best to drive home the 1 hour and 20 minutes as safely as I can. This is the only time in my life that I have considered suicide. Just on that ride home I thought, wouldn't it be easier to not feel this or exist? The moment was fleeting because I realized I have to be strong for my boys and my husband. How could I expect them to persevere if I could not?
So I gathered myself and when I got home my husband and I commiserated. Can I just say THANK GOD I have a super supportive, smart and caring husband? Without him as my rock this road would be a whole lot bumpier.
So that brings us to today. I spoke on the phone with a doctor at the MIND and found out about a study for young kids who have some autism red flags. Basically they provide parent training to help deliver early interventions to the child before a diagnosis. They've had some success with the study so far and I thought we have nothing to lose, sign us up! As a requirement to be in the study they are having Little Buddy assessed one more time to confirm the earlier findings and place him in the study. So today is the second assessment.
I'm doing my best to be positive and this morning it's been hitting me a little hard. Is our future going to have 2 kids with autism? Learning to accept that will be difficult but I have hope for my boys and my family. That is the seed I will grow our happiness from, just gotta hang on to the hope.
Then we got a big punch in the gut. My youngest, Little buddy is starting to show some autism signs as well. We started to notice little things here and there when he was 14 months old, but tried to explain it away or focus on the things he was doing well. So we were plugging away in our denial when I took him for his 15 month check up as part of an infant sibling study we are part of at the M.I.N.D. Institute at UC Davis when the punch came through. They noticed what we had been trying to deny. Not answering to his name, fixating on objects and not giving a whole lot of eye contact. They were helpful and referred us to a different study for early interventions. I took the information and tried to hold in the tears until I could make it to the car. I barely made it out of the building before I lost it.
This isn't supposed to happen, why us, what are we going to do, what will happen when we die? All of these things and more start welling up and I do my best to drive home the 1 hour and 20 minutes as safely as I can. This is the only time in my life that I have considered suicide. Just on that ride home I thought, wouldn't it be easier to not feel this or exist? The moment was fleeting because I realized I have to be strong for my boys and my husband. How could I expect them to persevere if I could not?
So I gathered myself and when I got home my husband and I commiserated. Can I just say THANK GOD I have a super supportive, smart and caring husband? Without him as my rock this road would be a whole lot bumpier.
So that brings us to today. I spoke on the phone with a doctor at the MIND and found out about a study for young kids who have some autism red flags. Basically they provide parent training to help deliver early interventions to the child before a diagnosis. They've had some success with the study so far and I thought we have nothing to lose, sign us up! As a requirement to be in the study they are having Little Buddy assessed one more time to confirm the earlier findings and place him in the study. So today is the second assessment.
I'm doing my best to be positive and this morning it's been hitting me a little hard. Is our future going to have 2 kids with autism? Learning to accept that will be difficult but I have hope for my boys and my family. That is the seed I will grow our happiness from, just gotta hang on to the hope.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Joining the party!
Well my husband has decided he wants to try his hand at blogging and he's actually quite good at it! Here is a link to his blog http://vexed-but-blessed.blogspot.com/ It's always nice when your spouse is super supportive and hops in to new activities with you! This especially helps when having kids, more specifically a child with autism. There are always new and sometimes scary experiences that come along with a diagnosis. For example our E-man is currently receiving early start services with therapy at home 25 hours a week. Today is his last day until his IEP (individualized education plan) meeting. It's not certain where he'll continue services but we would like him to continue with the school we've been working with. Then once that daunting task is completed he'll be going to school for 35 hours a week! Anticipating saying good-bye that first morning will be tough. I know it's inevitable for most parents, they all go to school but we are doing the whole thing a full year earlier than most. I'm sad I won't get to see him during his breaks and at lunch, hearing him run around saying "Up!" (his new favorite word). I feel a tinge of guilt because I'm also looking forward to having my house back and being a little more free in my schedule. Thankfully he has a week off before he goes, so I'm going to try to savor every moment with my little E-man. I didn't realize that being a parent would require so much letting go. In the end it's what is best for him and that's what matters the most.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Getting started
Well this is my very first blog post, ever! So let me start with who I am, my name is Violet and I am married to an awesome guy and have 2 beautiful kids. My oldest, the E-man is about to turn 3 years old and was diagnosed with autism at 20 months old. He keeps life interesting! My youngest, Little buddy, is 15 months old. My BFF and big sister suggested I start a blog to help connect with other families dealing with autism. So I figured, what the hell and here I am! I'll dive right in with the autism stuff, E-man is having issues with night waking at the moment and driving us crazy. I haven't been this tired since the kids were just born and I was up every 2 hours with them. Anybody have any suggestions?
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