We don't usually do anything special when this anniversary comes around but I always make a mental note. I am so proud of our boys and their progress. I'm also scared as hell about the future. I know those feelings will go hand in hand for as long as I live. That much I've learned in this last five years.
A couple months ago we decided to try to get into an event put on by Surfers Healing. It's an organization that began with Israel
"Izzy" Paskowitz, a professional surfer that has a son with autism. It started out small, he would take out a few kids at a time to get them up on a board and surf. Over time it became bigger and lots of families wanted their child with autism to try it out, as it seemed to have a calming effect on even the most anxious child.
In April we waited for the designated time and along with thousands of other families put our names in for a chance to surf.
The website went down and we got an email that we would be notified if we got in within four weeks.
Time went by and without hearing anything from the organization we had resigned ourselves to not being chosen.
Then two weeks before the event we got the news, both boys had been picked to surf!
It's amazing really because I've read that some families have tried for years to get in and here we were getting in on our first attempt.
We quicky decided that since the event was in Malibu that we would include Disneyland in the trip and make it a family vacation.
We recruited my mother in law and niece to help us wrangle the boys in our So-Cal adventure.
The week leading up to our trip everyone got sick. The boys, my mother in law, my niece, all with different ailments.
So I was a nervous wreck, worrying that one of us would be too sick to go. That on top of just general fears of drowning, shark attacks and the kids getting lost. You know, typical parental worries. The night before we left LB got a fever, if I had Xanax I would've been popping them. The hubby pointed out during one of my worry-fests that just because something might be difficult and we are scared does not mean we shouldn't do it.
Damn it, I hate when he's right.
The morning of the trip everyone miraculously felt better and we headed out.
The road trip went pretty smoothly and we arrived in Anaheim.
We took the boys swimming in the hotel pool and they had a blast.
The next morning was the surfing event. We got there early, registered and all of us played in the water while we waited our turn. E-man was in heaven, he was giggling the entire time while the waves pushed him around and he basically body surfed in the shallower part of the water. LB wanted to go in deep, which was scary because the shore had a deep slope and it was hard to feel like I was holding him well enough and have good footing. But we figured it out and the boys had a good time.
There were a ton of kids, all different levels of ability. We saw meltdowns and potty accidents and stimming, no one batted an eye. We were with our people even if we had never met before.
When it was time for the boys to surf we lined up with everyone else in our time slot. E-man was getting upset because, well, lines suck. LB was the first to go with a young guy, I watched my baby paddle out until he was so tiny I could barely tell who he was amongst all the other surfers.
They had to wait for some decent waves and we could see LB standing on the board, dancing around. Then he jumped in the water, holding on to the board while he swam around. He had a wet suit and life jacket but of course my heart was in my throat while he treaded water.
Eventually he got his chance to catch a wave, the professional getting him to stand up while holding him from behind. These professional surfers were amazing, I saw some surfing in with kids on their shoulders, some holding small kids in their arms. Their balance, strength and patience was greatly appreciated.
LB had a great time and got to surf a few more waves, my eyes filled with tears each time he came in.
Before he was done E-man went out too. E-man got to ride with the man himself, Izzy Paskowitz. We saw Izzy talking with his son before my son went out. It was emotional to watch them smile and interact amongst all these people who were her because of their their struggle to connect and ultimately their ability to bond in a unique way. Isn't it amazing what comes from difficulty when you add hope and creativity?
They got E-man on the board and paddled out, Izzy was able to catch a wave right away. E-man covered his ears, his go-to defense mechanism when overwhelmed.
The second time around, they wiped out. E-man's head popped out of the water and he grabbed on to Izzy right away.
They jumped back on the board and with the next wave Izzy got E-man to stand holding his hands out so he could experience the full effect with out fear. E-man did great and seemed to enjoy it.
On the last wave in we thanked Izzy for everything, shook his hand and got a few pictures.
The event was worth the worry and the wait to get there. The boys had a great time and I think Martin and I got to see the boys do something I never would have dreamed of doing five years ago. It was certainly an emotional experience I'll never forget.
The next two days we spent in Disneyland and California Adventure. It was so much fun to share the magic and excitement with the boys. Seeing the boys light up when they saw Woody, or cuddle up to Rapunzel made my heart want to burst with happiness.
E-man also did great staying with us and listening to directions. He was independent as he didn't want to hold hands most of the time but he showed us that he's ready and capable of that independence.
LB by this time was not feeling the greatest,
he got a fever the last day in the afternoon. Overall though he did pretty well. We had one meltdown moment, brought on by hunger, heat and exhaustion. The meltdown trifecta. With a little siesta for all of us we were able to get back to the park and have more fun.
We used the disability access card, a system designed to help those with special needs enjoy Disneyland. It was simple, we picked a ride we wanted to go on, found a kiosk and had all our cards scanned in and were given a time to go to the ride. We were able to get on the ride with minimal wait, it's kind of like a fast pass but available for every ride in the parks. Because we stayed in one of the Disney hotels we were able to get into California Adventure an hour early both days, which was awesome because there were hardly any lines and the boys got to ride some things twice in a row if they really liked it. Disneyland staff was overall very helpful and accommodating. Only one staff member at a kiosk desk had a little attitude initially but the second time we stopped by she was nicer.
The favorite rides by far were the tea cups, the Cars Racers, and Goofy's Flying School.
There was no way we could have done all this on our own, my mother in law and niece were essential to the success of this trip. My niece was great at playing with the boys, cracking jokes and making coffee runs for the group. My mother in law was great at making sure everyone had water, snacks and sun block. She even stayed with the boys after bed time in the hotel so we could go run around the parks, a great perk in my book.
The Friday before the surfing event Martin had planned a dinner out at a nice restaurant to celebrate our upcoming tenth wedding anniversary. The food was amazing and we had a great time.
When I stand back and look at how far we have come in ten years, from marriage to pregnancies to diagnosis (x2!) to hope and love and struggle I can't help but be grateful. I'm scared too of what the future holds. But five years in I have hope. Not for a completely normal life for the boys. But a life of happiness, independence and purpose.
If that's what just the last five years have shown me, I'm excited to see what the next five, ten and twenty will bring.
