This last weekend we took the kids on a family vacation that included a family reunion at a family member's house at Lake Shasta. To be honest with you when I heard about the reunion plan a few months ago I did not want to go. The reason being that it made me super nervous to have E-man so close to water for an extended period of time at an unknown location. Actually it was more like panic-inducing anxiety instead of just nervousness. As discussed in earlier posts, E-man can be an escape artist and we are vigilant about keeping tabs on him at all times. He also loves playing in water so escaping to go play in water would be a huge draw for him, coupled with his inability to swim this would be a disaster.
So when we heard about the reunion at first I pleaded with Martin to let me just stay home with the kids, working the angle that he could have a kid free vacation with his family. He wasn't buying it. Then I thought, well maybe I could bring one of my teenage nieces with us to help watch the kids. I was talking to my sister in law about it and while she understood my anxiety she assured me that there would probably be enough people there to help, but if I wanted to bring a niece she would understand.
It was starting to dawn on me that I was probably over reacting.
In another discussion with a straight shooting friend of mine that will never sugar coat anything, I brought up the vacation and my concerns. Basically she told me not to be a shut in and that I still had to live my life and provide the boys with new experiences.
That conversation was a big eye opener, I realized I was making it about me and my anxiety about the boys when I should be trouble shooting ways to make it work.
That changed my mindset a bit and Martin and I found out the layout of the house, brought some things of our own to E-man proof the house as much as we could. This included bringing a baby gate for the patio, safety door knob covers for our room and a baby monitor.
We planned as much as we could ahead of time.
It turned out to be a great trip. We got there and set up the safety devices and with A LOT of help from our family were able to keep an eye on E-man and Little Buddy.
We took them out on a speed boat, a patio boat and out swimming on the lake. E-man even got to ride on a quad for the first time. They both did really well in the water and by the end of the weekend E-man was able to float in the water in his life jacket by himself, twirling in the water and attempting to swim towards us.
There were moments of stress but I think that's pretty typical vacationing with two little kids. It was also nice meeting and talking with family members on Martin's side of the family.
What I've been realizing with E-man is that what I expect and what actually occur have not been exactly the same. I haven't been expecting things to go as well as they have, thinking I'm just being realistic. Really I'm being pessimistic and short changing the boys in the mean time. I think between potty training, better food habits and this vacation I'm starting to learn that I need to give both the boys more credit in their ability but also in the ability of me and my husband to handle difficult situations.
My goal now is to try to be more mindful of how my thoughts and anxieties might help or limit the boys in their experiences, because really my job is to teach them about life. How can I do that if I don't allow them to experience new situations?
It's funny how teaching them means teaching myself first, realizing that I'm learning as many things from them as they are from me. It's actually pretty amazing.
