A tribute to Dads

In honor of Father's Day this Sunday, I want to talk about Dads. Specifically, the men in my life who also happen to be fathers.  I am my father's third daughter. By the time he and my Mom got through my sisters being teenagers they had mellowed out quite a bit. In high school I remember him taking me to get coffee super early before school, listening to KGO and driving around.  I remember crying my eyes out when we danced to "In my life" by the Beatles (his favorite Beatles song) at my wedding, where for the first time ever I saw him cry too.  I remember after E-man was admitted to the NICU early the following morning after being born my Dad called to console and give me advice.  I remember him BBQing and bringing too much food for E-man's first birthday party. I also remember when we were first dealing with the fact that Little Buddy might have autism too my Dad saying  "Violet, life won't be bad, it will just be different", words I often go back to when starting to feel down.  Most of all I remember the lessons he has taught me and continues to teach me. Work hard, be generous, help out when you can, be honest, think before acting and family is always first. You can call my Dad anytime you need help, he will be there and probably bring food just in case.  I think I am very fortunate to have a great Dad and I am very grateful for the person he is, which I should probably tell him more often.  I think having a strong father figure helped me pick out a strong husband as well. The other Dad in my life is obviously the father of my children.  My hubby and I started dating when I was only 16! We had a lot of time together before having kids, so I thought I knew him pretty well. Which I did to an extent. Having kids changes the way you see your spouse. After finally being able to bring E-man home after his stint in the NICU I was literally afraid to sleep. I was worried he would stop breathing and would stay up just watching him. Instead of treating me like a crazy person, Martin was understanding and talked me off the ledge on that one. I tend to be a higher strung person, a worry wart. Martin is the opposite, he is relaxed and can bring me down to a normal level with all his logic. Watching him become a father has been incredible. From the very beginning he has been hands on, changing diapers, getting up in the middle of the night, going to doctor appointments, all the nitty gritty bits of raising a child.  Going through what we have so far with the autism stuff has also shown me that he won't back down from a challenge. He'll kick ass and take names for his kids. And on the other side of that he is patient, loving and compassionate when dealing with them and their unique way of moving through the world. Literally every day the kids make him smile and he'll say "I just love them so much".  It makes me feel so lucky to have found him and be able to spend my life with my best friend.  I don't think good dads are talked about often enough or thanked as often as necessary. Besides my Dad and hubby, I know many men that are awesome fathers. What I'd like to say to all the Dad's doing their best and supporting their families is that the rest of us appreciate what you do and love you for it.  Have a happy Father's Day!

Adventures in potty training

First I want to thank my mother for teaching me how to successfully poop and pee in a toilet. I don't think many people stop and thank their mothers for this skill, that is until they have to actually teach another human being how to do it. Not just another human being, but a small one, one that was happy to poop while watching cartoons and have you wipe their ass. 
If you too are embarking on the potty training ride, I recommend a call to your Mom and thanking her first. At least you might have a little good karma to start with. Second, make sure to have a butt load of extra undies, pants, shorts and socks before starting. This is vital, so start working on that pile of laundry you've been neglecting. I myself did not do either of these things and can tell you I'm a dummy.
We are only on day 2 of potty training with E-man and out of underwear.  Here's the thing, I didn't plan this very well. E-man's school is also potty training him and I sent extra clothes to keep there and didn't leave enough for him at the house. I feel like I'm always catching up instead of getting ahead of the game lately. Potty training is just making it glaringly obvious. 
I texted my sister telling her about my potty woes and she just laughs. As a mother of four boys I'm sure she figures she has the right to laugh at a noob just figuring it out. Although she annoys me with her superior attitude she made me laugh hysterically (laughing so hard my hubby was giving me weird looks) with her personal potty training anecdotes. 
Sister:  "The one thing i hated was cutting them off of juice by a certain time of night . They always acted like they just got back from the Sahara."
And,
"Or the innocent face when u ask them, and they clearly smell like shit, 'did you wipe?'".
The thing about it is that even though it's tough it gives E-man and I a few minutes every half hour to connect.  You are literally forced to stop anything you are doing and sit with them and wait. So we read books and sing songs. Just before bed E-man was sitting on the toilet giggling and reached over to give me a kiss. In the midst of my frustration he broke through and reminded me what it's all about. His sweetness makes me grateful for the moment, my beautiful son and all of a sudden there is no where else I'd rather be than sitting on the bathroom floor, waiting for him to pee.