Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Mother's Day



I don't think I truly appreciated my Mom until I had my kids. It didn't kick in right away because I was so overwhelmed with my newborn. After things calmed down I started to realize all the struggles I was having, my Mom had too. 
What was shocking to me was the love. You expect to love your children, you're told it's a love like no other. When you finally experience it, it is so intense it overtakes you. Realizing that my Mom feels that way about me was like a light bulb going on. 
When I was little I felt like my Mom knew everything, I felt safe, warm and loved with her. She would pack me and my brother a lunch to eat when we played outside. She showed me how to make mud pies with real mud. 
She was everything.
In junior high I was bullied and one day after school I was really upset.
She took me to out to Foster's Freeze to talk about it. I don't remember what we said but I remember feeling better after.
High school was tough, by then I thought I knew it all. We were still close but I was quite sassy and ran my mouth a bit. 
A mother-daughter relationship can be so complex. It was love-hate around that time, it was hard sometimes figuring out how to be together. As I got older I realized I wasn't right all the time. It starting dawning on me that she had good advice and my best interest at heart.
In college I decided to move out with Martin and when I told her she cried. 
She said she would miss me. My first night out of my parent's house Martin was out of town. 
I told my Mom and she came by to chat and brought food. When she left I cried because it turned out I missed her too.
Bringing up my children has shed a light on what she sees when she looks at me, the worrying, caring and frustration she feels for me. I get it now. 
What I want to say is thank you Mom. Thank you for everything, and I mean everything. Every wiped butt, every nose cleaned, every tear dabbed, every hug, every kiss, every talk, every laugh, every fight, every phone call. EVERY SINGLE THING.  I appreciate you and I love you.

Happy Mother's Day!