We had his IEP last April to determine his class placement. While we were not in agreement with the team about the classroom, we did agree on all the services and goals. The services include speech therapy twice a week, a one to one aide and a month of training for the aide from the school he currently receives therapy through. Since the meeting I have also talked to the teacher, she has experience with autistic kids and so far has been easy to contact and communicate with. The kindergarten he's attending is one for special needs kids on the more severe side. When we did a tour of all our options we saw this classroom and there was a wide range of disabilities. E-man is probably somewhere in the middle of the kids in this class abilities-wise. And I'm not going to lie, this was a huge hit to my pride. Having a kid with special needs is hard. Having one in the lowest level abilities class kind of just smacks you in the face.
The hardest part of the whole process was that E-man had a psychological assessment that deemed him not only on the autism spectrum but also intellectually disabled (which the psychologist so helpfully pointed out was formerly known as "mentally retarded", I wanted to punch her face).
Now here's my gripe about this new label "intellectually disabled", the tests they use to determine IQ are all language based. E-man does not use language yet. He is not dumb. He just doesn't fit the mold for the tools they are measuring him with. It's extremely frustrating. I am trying my best to be objective when I think about it and not let myself sink into denial. However, anyone who spends a decent amount of time with E-man sees that he has a lot going on in his mind, he just hasn't shared it yet. It makes me think of that quote all over the internet:
"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish on his ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing it is stupid"
E-man is definitely not stupid, when he wants something he figures out how to make it happen. I'm not saying he's a genius, he does have his limitations. But there is far more going on behind those bright eyes than we know right now.
The silver lining to this new label is that it's not forever. As he learns and grows we are hoping that he will no longer fall under the category of intellectually disabled.
The other difficult part of the process was feeling like an inadequate advocate for him during the meetings. When I think back to it now I wish there were things I had said or pointed out at the time. It gets so overwhelming and intimidating. It was an eye opener in what to expect and how to prepare myself for meeting that will come for both E-man and Little Buddy in the future.
It was a learning experience at least.
My plan moving forward is to be on the school's ass to make sure IEP goals are being met and that expectations of E-man are high, no matter what labels he has. The hubby and I are discussing hiring a professional advocate to attend meetings with us to have an objective and knowledgable person on our side. I'm hopeful for this year and feeling hesitant to trust the school system. We'll see how it goes and at the very least we will have better experience to fight LB's battles too.
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